Hatley is my big sister. She's my best friend. And I haven't seen her in a really long time (I don't even want to think of when I saw her last, because it'll make me cry - just kidding, I already am crying) but I always feel like she's with me. Today, I was going through pictures on facebook for no good reason... At first, I wanted to see pictures of me from a long time ago, to see how I've grown. They're only pictures, but they bring back so many memories. It was interesting to see a whole album about a trip to Italy in which, if you don't know better, you'd think I was happy. I smile in some of them. Man, I remember that trip... Bad memories are hard to forget. They haunt you for a very long time. It was right after my first (and only) break up. It almost seems silly to me now because I don't think I was in love... So why was it so painful? Maybe because I thought so then... But how? We were so different. Incompatible. Uncomfortable. I don't remember being happy back then anyway. But the point is, my heart was in pieces during the trip. I was going through these pictures, trying to see if you can see the sadness in my eyes... I don't know. You tell me. Then I remembered that I went to Colombia (where my mom's family lives) after that trip. I met up with Ann and David (my second parents) and Hatley, my big sister (kind of). I was turning sixteen, she was eight months older. I was still heartbroken... but Hatley was there for me. All the time. And she tried her best to make me feel better, and I am so so grateful.
Hatley, I love you so so so so much!
When my mom was pregnant with me, she became Hatley's babysitter. When I was born, Hatley and her parents came to see me at the hospital. 3 hours after I was born, I've been told? So, yes. I have known her literally ALL my life. Even when I was in my mom's belly. We grew up together. We were always together... And when I turned seven, my parents and I moved to Spain, and it was really hard to say bye to Hatley... But we saw her every summer! We would all travel to the south of France and have loads of fun! Then we moved to Paris, and they came to visit us there during the summer. Then, my mom and I convinced them to come to Colombia with us one summer... And they did. And even if they were a little scared at first, they do not regret it. Which is why they've been with us three times in Colombia! Hatley is a cousin to my cousins. They're part of the family.
When I was in Paris during the winter break this year, I found a letter Hatley sent to me in Spain:
(Here it is in detail, so you can read it)
My two favorite quotes:
"When you get home can I hug you until you're sick? (don't panic that was just a joke)"
"When you come back, never go that long, ok."
I will always remember...
that day in school when I was still living in California... Some girl made you cry during recess (you were 6, I was 5) and I was so proud because I was there for you. I was so happy to hug you and stand up for you and help you in any way I could.
the shiny bright blue pyjamas with the stars you gave me before I moved to Spain with my parents.
crying in my bed in Spain when I was seven because I missed my big sister like hell.
being told that you were the good little baby who didn't try to open drawers, and that I somehow managed to open the ones with the baby-proof locks, and once walked over to my mom with a bottle of alcohol in my baby hand.
you hating Kumon with every fiber of your being.
you bossing me around because you were my BIG sister.
you reading "Texts from Last Night" to me every night, so I'd forget about my broken heart.
going to La Finca with you.
taking private salsa dancing classes with you in Colombia.
how different we were. Like when you liked dressing up nice, and I was in my skater girl phase... Still, we got along.
our trips to the south of France every summer. We'd get 3 or 5 euros every day to spend on things we wanted!
that I was vegetarian for 3 years because I was copying my big sister.
how I used to draw a lot when I was young, and I would ALWAYS draw you in all of my drawings. Always.
how when we grew up, we were supposed to live in a farm that my cousin Felipe helped us design with a lot of animals. I couldn't understand why you would want so many birds.
what an incredibly strong person you are.
how happy I am you are part of my life.
how much I love you.
(and so many more things...)
I miss you every day! I wish we lived closer to each other...
Hope you are doing great, Hatley... I can't wait to see you again! I really hope you can come to Europe during the summer. I love you, I miss you!
Love, Freedom & Truth,