A mix of iphone photos and camera photos... I shouldn't even specify that anymore, I do it every single time, huh? My dad and I were in Naples for three and a half days last weekend. It was good and relaxing and such a delicious weekend. (All the food pictures are coming, folks. There's a whole post about the places we went to and the food we ate. Remember, two whole pizzas I inhaled at da Michele.) Most of the time I was quiet and in somewhat of a mood but the good thing about walking all day is that you can just be quiet and look at the sights and think. At least that's how my dad and I go about it. Most of the time, we're good travel buddies.
The gloomy, somber mood was probably a mix of anxiety over finding jobs, trying to count calories but also treat myself (stupid, the whole point of the weekend is FOOD, I said to myself over and over again), getting very little sleep the first night, having too many thoughts and worries. Done with college, move home, have zero plans. What do you do when you have nothing and everything at the same time? I was talking to a friend and he asked me how freedom felt. It feels terrifying. I have nothing, I said. At the moment when you have everything in front of you, ironic, he said. Doh! He's right. But so am I. Having the possibility to do anything doesn't mean you'll get or be given the chance to do everything. What do I focus on? What do I want? What do I do? More like, what will I get the chance to do?
So my mind has been racing for the past few weeks. Pizza helped. Isn't it funny how pizza always helps? Magical powers in cheese and tomato sauce... I've been working non-stop since I've been back, and my breaks are only to go grocery shopping, play the guitar for ten minutes, or to declutter the closet and clean my room so the bed is actually visible. It's 85% there. Most things have a place "art stuff here, books here, yarn here, underwear here...", and I've gotten rid of a bunch of old things which feels great. The minute my room is 95% there, I feel like I will be able to get more important stuff done. The truth? I'd like to focus on music. Which is scary and also heartbreaking for many reasons I won't go into.
"No more pictures, I'm not in the mood, 'kaaay?"
The weather in Naples was so much better than it was in Pennsylvania. When my grandparents came to pick me up in Philly after I got back from Colombia, my body was in shock. Cali is SO warm (and very hot in the early afternoon) that I had completely forgotten how cold it can get. And, good god, the northeast is awful this winter. But Naples was good. It was sunny, until the last day when it rained like crazy. We had two things to do that morning: get me a warm sfogliatella and find my dad some cheese to bring back. We were successful, and didn't get too wet. It was only pouring when we were inside. Things work out sometimes.